El día que pensé que me habían robado el coche

Escribo esta entrada con la gran seguridad de que a alguien le habrá pasado esto alguna vez. No es la primera vez ni la última que me pasa. Pero sé con certeza que es la ocasión en la que más lejos he llegado. Pero la historia podría haber sido mucho peor, eso tampoco hay que obviarlo. ¡Siempre puede ser peor!

Como todos sabéis, no se me conoce por mi memoria a corto plazo. Bueno, tampoco a largo, ni a medio. Esta deficiencia mental afecta en particular a la relación que tengo con con mi viejo carromato en dos aspectos:

  • ¿Donde he aparcado? Soy de esas personas que salen de la oficina y van a buscar su coche donde lo aparcaron el día anterior. Literalmente. Cada día. A veces me levanto espléndida y me acuerdo de echarle una foto cuando aparco. Pero el 96% de las veces no es así.
  • ¿Donde están las llaves de mi coche? Respecto a las llaves he tenido percales de todo tipo. Desde perder y encontrar (y por fin perder definitivamente) el segundo juego de llaves, hasta dejármelas puestas en el coche durante días, tanto en el contacto como en la puerta. Dos veces. Pero eso da para otra entrada.

Una madre instigadora

Mi madre empezó todo esto. Siempre lo hacen. ¡Madres…! De camino a comprar algo me he crucé con ella y el diálogo ha marchado tal que así:

M: ¿Has movido el coche? No está donde esta mañana

M: Esta mañana estaba ahí.

F: Ya lo sé, yo he pasado también y lo he visto.

Llegados a este punto, para los que no conozcáis a mi madre debéis saber que es la mujer más negativa y catastrofista del mundo. No lo digo por decir. De todas las posibilidades del universo, ella encontrará la peor y te lo hará saber. Y yo la conozco, sé lo que puedo esperar y aún así, algunas veces me arrastra en su alud apocalíptico. Ayer fue una de esas veces.

Primera fase: resignación

Pues me han robado el coche. Si esta mañana estaba ahí, y ahora no está, no hay que ser astrofísico para sacar conclusiones. Extraño es, pero no puede haber otra explicación. No hay pegatina de la grúa, no está mal aparcado… Me han robado el coche. Estupendo. Gracias mamá. Me voy a casa a llamar a la policía.

Segunda fase: furia incontenida

Subo a casa y le doy la noticia a mi novio. Haré un pequeño resumen de lo que se volvió una situación tensa.

F: ¿Dónde tengo que denunciar: Guardia Civil o Policía?

La resignación y determinación empiezan a tornarse ira.

F: Pablo, ¡¡estaba allí y no está!!

P: ¿Y no lo has aparcado en otro sitio?

F: Pablo, no soy idiota, estás insultando a mi inteligencia. Estaba allí esta mañana y ahora no está.

P: Espera y te acompaño. Llama primero a ver si se lo ha llevado la grúa.

F: Pablo… estaba bien aparcado y no hay pegatina de la grúa.

Me dispongo a llamar a la policía. Les doy la matrícula del coche y me informan de que no está en el depósito. ¡Te lo dije! Me lo han robado. ¿Pero quién en su sano juicio, de todos los coches que hay en esta ciudad, querría llevarse mi viejo carromato con el techo desconchado? ¡Malditos ladrones fetichistas obsesionados con coches discapacitados! El amable agente de policía me sugiere que espere un día a ver si estuviera en el depósito pero aún no lo hubieran notificado. ¿24 horas? No reproduciré el tono o contenido de la conversación que siguió, pero haré algo mejor y la traduciré en un GIF muy detallado:

P: Espera y te acompaño. ¿Seguro que lo has aparcado bien?

F: Mira, si vas a venir en este plan, ¡mejor quédate en casa que yo no te lo he pedido!

Pablo se viste y emprendemos marcha hacia la Guardia Civil.

Tercera fase: la duda

Veréis. Lo bonito de tener una pareja que te conoce tan bien, es que puede salvarte de ti misma. No todos tienen esa suerte.

Después de que Pablo comprobase por sí mismo toda la información que ya le había dado (dejando clarísimo el descrédito del que gozo en mi propia casa), una vez en la calle hizo a bien recordarme ese coche prácticamente idéntico al mío que hay por mi barrio. Yo, lejos de entender lo que estaba sugiriendo, me cabreé todavía más.

P: Te recuerdo que hay un coche igual en el barrio, de la chica esa.

F: Ya, y qué va a hacer la chica, abrir mi coche y llevárselo? Creo que se daría cuenta de que no es su coche. Es más, creo que debe haber una especie de ley que impida que una llave abra todos los coches del mismo modelo. (esta parte del diálogo se ha visto dramatizada para enfatizar mi idiotez y la comicidad de la situación).

P: ¡ Como va a robarte la chica el coche con su llave!

Ya a mitad de camino…:

P: No es posible que no te acuerdes dónde has aparcado y ese fuera el coche de la chica?

F: …

P: ¡¡¡No me hagas pasar vergüenza poniendo una denuncia porque se te ha olvidado dónde has aparcado el coche!!! A ver, llama a tu padre a ver si lo ha visto por el barrio.

F: (yo intentando que no se note que me desinflo en serias dudas)

Cuarta fase: la vergüenza

Mi padre y yo vivimos por el mismo barrio y es frecuente que aparque por las inmediaciones de su trabajo. Si alguien lo había visto, probablemente sería él. La llamada resultó todo un éxito. Veréis, él no sólo sabía dónde estaba el coche, sino que me recordó que el último día que yo lo había cogido (tres o cuatro días atrás), había aparcado en un sitio de su calle, de legalidad dudosa, por lo que fui a buscarle y tuve un debate de unos cinco minutos sobre mi coche y la idoneidad de su aparcamiento. Parece que ese hecho insólito no fue suficiente anclaje para que mi cerebro volviera sobre sus pasos.

El paseo de la vergüenza hasta mi coche, y luego hasta el trabajo de mi padre, no fue tan duro como cabría esperar. Soy buena reconociendo errores (cualidad sin la que no habría llegado viva hasta aquí, con la cantidad de ellos que cometo) y simplemente me dio la risa floja. Lo único que temía es que me pidieran el divorcio, porque la cara de Pablo era esta:

En mi defensa, si es que cabe lugar para tal cosa, diré que mi coche es de un color muy muy particular y tiene el techo desconchado, igual que el de mi anónima amiga. ¿No había barrios para vivir, que tienes que elegir el mío, odiosa mujer? El día que me la cruce por la calle me tiraré al capó mientras le grito

¡EN ESTE BARRIO SOLO HAY LUGAR PARA UNA DE NOSOTRAS DOS!

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    Fahren im Schnee und Beleuchtung ausgewählt, um mehr Sicherheit und Mobilität bei schwierigen Verkehrsverhältnissen zu ermöglichen. Zu den getesteten Produkten zählten weiters Schneeketten, LED-Leuchten und Anhänger.
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    setzten sich schließlich die Beleuchtung (Open Lights) und der Anhänger (Open Trailer) bei den Projektteilnehmern durch.

    Alsdann wurden die Projekte in mehreren Workshops ausprobiert und überarbeitet, während das Fablab Berlin jeweils die Herstellung der Prototypen übernahm.

    Hiermit Anhänger am Rollstuhl wird es einfacher,
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    Straßenverkehr. Basierend auf Adafruits Neopixeln und dem Mikrocontroller Trinket lässt
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