El día que me enamoré de un sofá

Hace unos meses compramos para el salón nuestro nuevo y flamante sofá. Y para-distorsionando a Julio Cortázar, cuando adquieres un sofá, no estás adquiriendo solo un sofá, sino…:

  • Calidad de vida (a precio de fábrica, en mi caso).
  • La posibilidad de pederte más cerca de tu pareja.
  • El miedo a manchar algo difícil de limpiar (y que te pillen, sobre todo que te pillen)
  • El miedo a que tu perra se lo coma (dado sus antecedentes…).
  • El traslado paulatino de tu despacho (anteriormente en un escritorio la habitación contigua), a esa mullida nueva oficina de color gris marengo y asientos extensibles. Menos mal que tengo portátil…
  • Siestas con baba, junto a tu perra.
  • Y el compromiso a renunciar a tu escasa vida social fuera de casa, además, con una sonrisa (“En este sofá caben todos mis amigos, ¡que vengan ellos!”).

En fin, que un sofá no es solo un sofá. Todos lo sabemos.

Era A.S. (Antes de ‘El Sofá’)

Recuerdo la era A.S. como una época oscura y truculenta. Teníamos dos mal llamados sofás que ya cuando entré al piso hace casi 5 años prometían ser tan cómodos como cuidados estaban.

Los sofás chaboleros

El tapizado estaba hecho jirones, probablemente porque había sido utilizado como ring de lucha o afilador de uñas para gatos. Tumbada, sólo cabía el 65% de mi cuerpo. El resto caía trágicamente sofá abajo hasta casi rozar el suelo (normalmente las rodillas, hubiera sido muy épico de otra manera) . Y para colmo, sufrían el mal más común de los viejos sofás: tenían agujeros gravitacionales. Esos que no ves, pero sientes. Consisten en desniveles en principio inofensivos durante los primeros minutos de reposo, pero que, sin darte apenas cuenta, te atraen hasta casi tragarte. Tienen su propia fuerza de atracción y cuando te quieres levantar…¡oh! ¡no poder! Has sido devorado por tu sofá chabolero.

Total, muy cómodo todo. Nada de dolores de espalda.

La no vida del salón

Si sumamos a los sofás chaboleros, una tele de tubo catódico sin entradas de USB ni HDMI, el resultado es, como podéis imaginar, vida nula en el salón. Esto nos resultaba particularmente molesto ya que pagábamos el 100% del alquiler y usábamos el 80% de la casa. Llamadlo caprichos burgueses.

Era D.S. (Después de ‘El Sofá’)

Todo empezó cuando conseguimos un televisor decente, donde podíamos conectar un portátil y ver Netflix. ¡Brujería!

En ese mismo instante empezamos a ver el salón no sólo como un contenedor de muebles y el meadero de Momo, sino como el epicentro de nuestra vida social en casa, y si algo fallaba eran esos malditos sofás.

Así que, como sucede con las grandes historias de amor, en realidad fue el sofá quien nos encontró a nosotros, y no al revés, a través de un folleto publicitario. Ahí estaba: mullido, super amplio, suave… y no cabía en nuestro salón. HORROR.

No quiere caber ahí

Quiénes conocen nuestra casa pueden decir muchas cosas de ella: es vieja (o sea, vintage), ruidosa (o sea, céntrica)… pero sobre todo, es grande. ¡Es grande, maldita sea! ¿Por qué el salón tenía que tener esa distribución hexaheptamultidiagonal? ¿Qué clase de muebles puede uno plantearse meter ahí? Los chaboleros, ahora me lo explico todo.

Listado de bajas

Pero no nos íbamos a rendir tan pronto. Días y días con el metro en una mano y mesándonos las barbas con la otra dieron su fruto. Cambiamos toda la disposición del salón. Hemos perdido una ventana (ya no podemos abrirla ni cerrarla), casi perdemos ambas puertas a sendos balcones y 2 metros cuadrados de salón han causado baja para siempre. Pero hemos ganado un sofá. Y uno de puta madre además. ¡A mi me compensa!

Conclusiones tras 6 meses de uso

Tras seis meses con el sofá nuevo hemos extraído algunas conclusiones

  • Vemos más series y películas.
  • Ahora podemos elegir si nos abrazamos viéndolas o no.
  • La sobremesa se ha trasladado al sofá y se alargado considerablemente.
  • Ahora puedo dormir las siestas con la cama toda para mi, porque a Pablo le encanta dormir en el sofá.
  • Nos olemos más los pedos.

En definitiva perdemos más el tiempo, pero lo perdemos mejor invertido.

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  289. I don’t know if it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else experiencing problems with your blog.
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    me know if this is happening to them as well? This may
    be a issue with my browser because I’ve had this happen previously.

    Appreciate it

  290. Good day! Would you mind if I share your blog with my twitter group?
    There’s a lot of folks that I think would really enjoy your content.
    Please let me know. Many thanks